she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize