Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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