shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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