So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
