Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's official drugs can't kill me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
