Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
