it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
