The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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