When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
