at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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