wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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