He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize