why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
