Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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