i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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