it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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