Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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