This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
love makes seman taste better
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
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