so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
