you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
