I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
