Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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