i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
