in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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