yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize