is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she looked like the before picture.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
