i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
