garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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