Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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