For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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