Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
