Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
