we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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