Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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