Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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