last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize