She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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