All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
