I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
