OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
