eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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