Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
