That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
