Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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