I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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