now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
