i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I supernannyed him into submission
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