moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
