he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
