I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
