pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
