your thong is hanging out like whoa
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
