I like to think it a success when the cops are called
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
