i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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