i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize