Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
