and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
