I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
