we're blogging at a bar
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This baby is an asshole
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
