At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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