I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
