You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
