If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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