Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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