respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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